Quick disclosure: This article is intended for educational purposes and is not meant to be considered medical advice.
Intuitive eating is a way of eating that is based on tuning into your body’s internal cues around hunger and fullness, rather than following diets, external rules, or restrictions. It can be a powerful tool for developing a healthy relationship with food and body, but it is a process that takes time, especially if you are coming from years of dieting and buying into diet culture messaging. Part of the challenge in making the transition to intuitive eating is in uncovering the hidden food rules or food restrictions you’ve been living by and then getting rid of them.
These hidden food rules that are ingrained in us through diet culture and societal messages are often subconscious and may not even feel like “rules” at all. They can manifest in thoughts like, “I shouldn’t eat carbs after 6 p.m.” or “I have to finish everything on my plate.” These rules can create anxiety and guilt around food, leading to disordered eating behaviors, and a disconnection from our body’s natural hunger and fullness signals. They can also be foods you simply don’t eat or avoid because you’ve been told they are “bad.”
When I first transitioned to intuitive eating, I had many rules and foods I tried to avoid or limit. I ate breakfast and attempted to skip lunch or eat as little lunch as possible, so I would not feel guilty about having a full-size dinner. Bread and pasta were two of my major forbidden foods. I only allowed these on special occasions. If I ate pasta, I made sure it was gluten free. If I overate or overindulged in sweets, I would compensate by trying to restrict the next few meals.
I avoided fruit because I believed they were low in nutritional value and high in sugar (and I wanted to reserve my sugar intake for the sugary foods I really loved). I loved rich chocolate desserts such as ganache, icing, chocolate chips, and in lieu of giving up chocolate since it is higher in calories, I would not allow myself other foods high in sugar such as soda, fruit, non-chocolate desserts, and highly processed snacks.
Some of these rules were leftover from previous diets (I was paleo for many years), but some are just rules I made up for myself. Your rules might also come from messages you received as a child, such as the need to clean your plate and not let food go to waste.
In order to identify and release these hidden food rules or food triggers, we must first become aware of them.
Here Are Some Tips for Recognizing Your Hidden Food Rules
Pay attention to your thoughts and language around food.
Do you find yourself saying things like, “I can’t eat that” or “I shouldn’t have eaten that”? These are indicators of internalized food rules. Try to catch yourself in these moments and ask yourself where these beliefs are coming from.
Notice your emotional reactions to food.
Do you feel guilty after eating certain foods? Do you feel like you need to “earn” your food through exercise or other behaviors? These are also signs of hidden food rules that may be impacting your relationship with food. Try to separate your emotions from your food choices and focus on how your body feels instead.
Examine the diet culture messages that you’ve internalized.
Many of our food rules are rooted in diet culture and societal messages about body size and shape. Take some time to reflect on the messages that you’ve received throughout your life about what is “good” and “bad” when it comes to food and body. Recognize that these messages are not based in science and that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to eating.
Experiment with different foods and eating patterns.
One of the key principles of intuitive eating is giving yourself permission to eat all foods without judgment or restriction. This can be scary at first, but it can also be incredibly liberating. Try experimenting with different foods and eating patterns to see what feels good in your body. Remember that there are no “good” or “bad” foods, and that all foods can fit into a healthy diet.
Seek support from a registered dietitian or therapist.
If you’re struggling to identify and release your hidden food rules, it may be helpful to seek support from an intuitive eating-certified dietitian or therapist. They can help you navigate the challenges of letting go of old beliefs and develop a more positive relationship with food and your body.
It’s possible that as you make the transition to intuitive eating, you will be able to easily identify some of your eating rules and make adjustments. Others may be more difficult, and still you may not recognize other eating patterns as rules until later. This is okay. With intuitive eating, there are no rules and you are not punished for your eating behavior. By removing food rules, you will be more apt to listen to what your body needs and nourish it.
How to Let Go of Food Rules
Once you’ve identified your hidden food rules, it’s important to work on releasing them. Here are some strategies for letting go of food rules and embracing intuitive eating:
1. Practice self-compassion.
Remember that letting go of food rules can be a difficult process, and it’s okay to make mistakes along the way. Treat yourself with compassion and kindness, and acknowledge that you’re doing the best you can with the tools you have.
2. Reframe your beliefs around food.
Instead of seeing certain foods as “good” or “bad,” try to reframe your beliefs to focus on the nourishment that food provides your body. All foods provide nutrients that our bodies need, and there is no need to label them as “good” or “bad.” Eventually, you will learn which foods make your body feel the best, but there is a time and place for all foods.
3. Trust your body’s cues.
Instead of relying on external rules or restrictions, trust your body to tell you what it needs. Pay attention to your hunger and fullness cues, and try to honor them by eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re full. In the beginning, it is easy to overthink this and question whether you’re really hungry or really full. If you’re coming from restrictive eating or a binge-restrictive eating pattern, it is better to eat. You’re healing your body and working to send the signal to your body that it will be provided for. This can take time and practice, but over time, you’ll develop a more intuitive sense of what your body needs.
4. Practice mindfulness.
Mindfulness is the practice of being present and fully engaged in the moment. When it comes to food, mindfulness can help you to be more aware of your body’s cues, as well as the tastes and textures of the food you’re eating. Try to eat without distractions, savoring each bite and fully enjoying your meals. Beware, though, that mindfulness doesn’t mean militant. If you are vigilant through every meal, critically thinking through every bite you take, you’re going to be miserable. For some of us, myself included, mindfulness can be taken to the extreme. Pause on mindfulness and just enjoy your meals until you’re in a place where you can begin gently checking in with yourself.
5. Focus on health, not weight.
One of the biggest challenges of letting go of food rules is that we often associate certain foods with weight gain or loss. Instead of focusing on weight, try to focus on health. What foods make you feel good? What foods give you energy and nourishment? These are the foods that you should prioritize in your diet, rather than focusing on the number on the scale.
6. Celebrate your progress.
Letting go of food rules can be a long and challenging process, but it’s important to celebrate your progress along the way. Acknowledge the small victories, like trying a new food or eating without guilt, and use these successes to motivate yourself to continue on your journey towards intuitive eating.
Identifying and releasing your hidden food rules is an essential part of the intuitive eating process and often one of the easiest ways to get started with intuitive eating. By becoming aware of the rules that are governing your relationship with food, you can start to let go of them and develop a healthier, more intuitive relationship with eating. It’s not always easy, but with time, practice, and support, you can learn to trust your body and enjoy a more positive relationship with food and your body.
What are some of your hidden food rules or foods that you eat freely now that were once off limits? I’d love to hear them!